Today was a buttcrack kind of day

Well, I guess I mean yesterday now that it’s after midnight.  Tuesday may not be a buttcrack day.  I’m not sure yet.

First off, I’m about to get in the shower and had the sudden idea that I needed to fix something in the bathroom.  So I walk through the house in my birthday suit to get a screwdriver and some pliers.  Robin looks at me and asks what the hell I’m doing.

“I’m the naked plumber,” I said.  “You don’t have to worry about seeing my buttcrack because I’m not wearing pants.”

I know.  That made no sense and it was probably a traumatizing image.  But keep in mind that I hadn’t drank any coffee yet.

Next, we’re off to the doctors office so I can get my biweekly injection (you know that glowy stuff in Re-Animator?  Kind of like that).  I look across the waiting room and pointed Robin to a girl with her buttcrack peeking out from her pants – a LOT of buttcrack.  I joked that she’s destined to become a plumber.

Robin said, “I think that’s the style nowadays.  Jeans are cut low to show off the crack.”

“Oh.”  That made me feel old.

Then the nurse calls my name and we’re on our way to the lab room so I can get poked.  On the way, a cute young woman was squatting as she helped her kid on and off the scale.  She was wearing those low-cut pants, too, except hers must have been the wrong size or something.  As she squatted, the back hung way out so it was easy to see everything.  EVERYTHING.  No panties.  EVERYTHING!  The nurse and Robin were both walking behind me, so I couldn’t stop, but I did lose my train of thought and nearly walked past the lab room.  Afterward, Robin mentioned it, saying she had a cute butt.

So then we’re in the parking lot, on our way out.  “Uh oh, Robin, there’s another buttcrack!”  This time, it was a guy leaning into his car trunk.  As we passed, though, he pulled his pants up.  This was a huge relief to me because I didn’t want his butt clouding my image of the previous butt.  These things are important.

So as you go about your errands, see how many buttcracks you can find.  Make a game of it.  Fun for the entire family!

2 Responses to “Today was a buttcrack kind of day”

  1. pointy07 Says:

    Happy Birthday to you!
    Happy Birthday to you!
    Happy Birthday, dear Jerrod!
    Happy Birthday to you!

  2. Clearly, you are ready to say yes to crack. Walk toward where the light don’t shine! =^P

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