About me

I am an author of dark/adult humor and horror as well as the co-founder and associate editor at Skullvines Press.

Every Wednesday from 3-6pm EST, I cohost as Grimm on The Metal Crypt, which can be found at Hard Rock Radio Live, a top ten Internet radio station.  It’s uncensored and pretty wild, playing hard rock and metal throughout with guests ranging from horror authors to rock musicians.  S.D. Hintz, my good friend and owner of Skullvines Press, is kind enough to put together the YouTube videos of interviews.

I spend most of my days at home caring for my disabled wife, Robin, who suffers from schizophrenia and has appeared in the comic book, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, #10.  She’s a real sweetheart and her hallucinations, etc, keep things interesting when I’m not working from my own insanity.  I was once diagnosed schizophrenic so I have literally been there and back.  My skull had been shoved into my brain in a car accident in ’92.  Among many other problems, the bipolar region of my brain was swelling under the pressure and therefore kicking in overdrive.  But as John Astin used to say in Night Court, “I’m much better now.”  Having experienced it all firsthand, however, I know exactly where Robin is coming from when she’s having episodes, so I work with her to “talk her down.”

And there were a few years after my skull was fixed – in the late 90s – that I actually missed the unstable reality, so I did a lot of acid and shrooms while in Florida.  Fun times.  I never did anything stronger than that, though, and while I’ve nothing against pot, I never was a fan of it.  I also wrote the first incarnation of the serial, FEAR THE WOODS, during those times, which was then titled THE OAK CLAN.

So anyway, there’s a little history to help in understanding whatever it is I write here.  I hope it helps.


21 Responses to “About me”

  1. Now that’s a bio!

    Sounds like one helluva ride, my bud. Had some years like that in my past so I smell what you’re saying.

    You keep that Skullvine and Metal Crypt creative mojo taunting the masses and make sure to give your lovely lady a hug.


  2. Jerrod Balzer Says:

    Thanks Greg! I hope to get into more details of this and that through my blog, kind of a memory lane on shuffle, typing up whatever time of my life I happened to be thinking of at the moment. Robin has had a crazier life, though, so when she feels like it, I’ll sit her down with me here.

    It shouldn’t be boring, at least 😉

  3. I also think the shrooms and the acid are what help me relate to folks who have to live with a hallucinatory reality. Though I chose to have mine, and Robin didn’t choose hers, there is still a way in which I can better relate to and sympathize with the terror that Robin has to live with, and better understand the shifting/temporary nature of our so-called “real” reality.

    I look forward to whatever Robin ever feels like saying here, whenever that may be.

  4. QuoterGal! It’s great to see you here.

    And agreed, there are plenty of people out there who bask in the belief that they’re “crazy” and how cool it is, but they mistake tripping as being exactly like schizophrenia. True, the feel of it is very similar, but the tripper knows he or she will be okay in a few hours. The schizophrenic person does not. Furthermore, an experienced tripper can get out of a bad trip and make it a good one, whereas a schizophrenic is generally in a perpetual bad trip. Since they have no real hold on reality, they have no base experience to compare their hallucinations to. So they can’t look at something and say, “That can’t exist. I must be seeing things.”

    Another thing is the hallucinations aren’t just audio and visual, but actual thoughts popping in your mind that aren’t your own. That’s where the paranoid schizophrenia comes in. A thought pops up that everyone around you wants to kill you. You’re unsure of where the thought came from, and it’s easy to confuse it with your genuine thoughts, so you end up accepting it. Eventually, your body will react to it so you’re seeing people coming after you, etc, making the hallucination seem that much more “real.”

    I’m no doctor, of course. These are just things I’ve learned from experience and from living with Robin. It really is Hell for these poor souls. And as you said, tripping can indeed help a person relate from a safer perspective. For her, it’s a bad trip that never ends. She gets to pop into reality with the help of her meds, but otherwise she’s suffering.

    I’m mixing Robin’s tales throughout the blog, so feel free to browse around. Anything regarding her is either straight from her mouth or I’d read it to her prior to posting – for her approval and to be sure I’ve got my facts straight.

  5. Um, Jerrod, how do I email you once you stop using your MySpace page?

  6. The new MySpace page I started will be my main one. I’m just letting the other one linger a bit while I let friends know. I’ve changed the link here at “Jerrod’s Sites” so the MySpace link goes to the new one now. I can also be contacted at JerrodBalzer@gmail.com.

  7. You are not welcome anywhere on Tabloid Purposes — especially if you have three websites linked to your site devoted to smearing my name. As long you’re connected to 50 Foot Cockroach, HorrorGal, Poppy Z. Brite, The Rusty Nail, or Bob Freeman — you will never be allowed to submit. Besides your Tabloid Terrors anthology is a rip off of Tabloid Purposes One and Two in terms of the cover work. I will never publish anything of yours, and you publishing someone that owns a pirated copy of my book — I will never give your company a dime, pal. Quit stalking my friends too.

  8. I’m very thankful that a “publisher” who stalks/threatens people online, and who never pays his authors, does not want to publish me.

    Now I can sleep better at night, lol.

    And friends am I stalking, Nick? You have no friends. Plus, I’m far too busy to chase anyone around, or even keep my blog updated (unfortunately).

    One more thing: Tabloid Terrors is a parody of tabloids – they’re patterned after tabloid covers, not anything of yours.

  9. Hello, Nicky-poo. I still don’t understand your choice of victims at all.

  10. Mike Brendan Says:

    Call me silly, but I think being banned by a so-called publisher who has yet to show a basic grasp of English is a good thing.

  11. valannb22 Says:

    You know what? I’ve read both Tabloid Purposes and Tabloid Terrors: I was a Sasquatch Sex Slave. I have to say that Tabloid Terrors was 1000x better than Tabloid Purposes.

  12. Everything I have seen so far from Jerrod has been outstanding.

  13. I hope you go broke with your hospital bills. In other words fuck you, you’re not getting help for them. I read Mike’s blog about your little fund raiser. I am a legit publisher, been one for six years — I actually do have friends and they don’t work in the industry. Though some of them are looking to break into the business with my magazine being the stepping stone to them.
         The fact that your published author was stalking my former room mate then she lit my Tabloid Purposes IV on fire on youtube.com. You think that’s amusing. Then I will contribute to you going broke.

  14. Stinky, the person you’re accusing of doing that stuff: innocent. Prove it or quit babbling about it. I know the truth, that you asked her to help you slam another author and she refused, so you’ve targeted her since. I think you’ve got a stalker-type crush on her, personally.

    And the fundraiser was a success! My friends were fantastic and I was floored when I woke up one day to see those auctions around. It really made my heart soar and enough was raised to pay a big ambulance bill. The hospital bills have been worked out so I won’t go broke paying them; it will just take a few years, lol.

    I appreciate your fond wishes, though.

  15. khkoehler Says:

    At least I follow up on the charities I’m working on, unlike a certain someone I won’t mention.

  16. Nothing about you is legitimate, Nicky. You don’t pay your authors. You cheat and steal from them.

    Jerrod is a better man than you will ever be.

    Go fuck a pickle, nicky.

  17. You have to have a basic grasp of English, Nicky, before you can call yourself a writer, editor, or publisher.

    Glad to see things worked out well for you Jerrod!

  18. Nick,

    To quote: “I am a legit publisher, been one for six years — I actually do have friends and they don’t work in the industry.”

    That’s the problem, they don’t work in the industry. Authors I idolize have been way too kind supporting the fundraiser- which Jerrod had no idea about, so get off his back – and I have them to thank for their sincere generosity. Christ, now your stalking Jerrod’s blog? Because you care right?

  19. I almost hate to suggest this, but is it possible that Nicky has the HAWTS for Jerrod and that’s what this REALLY all about?

    Frustrated, sweaty Nicky-style man love?

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