Archive for the Films Category

Killers vs Knight and Day

Posted in Films with tags , , , , , , , , on June 13, 2010 by Jerrod Balzer

I’ve only seen the trailer, but apparently, the plot is the boyfriend is a secret agent and the naive girlfriend learns of it, followed up by a funny adventure with the two of them:

Personally, I’ll stick with my old favorite because I doubt Killers can top it:

Or even Mr. and Mrs. Smith (except they’re assassins), where they fool each other.

That said, the new Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz movie looks fun, but it also doesn’t rip off the others because there’s no apparent deception. In fact, it looks pretty fresh with an agent who’s lost his marbles attaching himself to an innocent (I know, same plot as The Matador [except Brosnan is an assassin] but this still feels a lot different than that).

I love these kinds of movies, though, so I’ll probably end up watching them both when they’re on blu-ray. I’m just less enthused about Killers than I am Knight and Day, judging by the trailers.

I’m gonna throw up…

Posted in Films with tags , on January 19, 2010 by Jerrod Balzer

…from trying to watch a few minutes of District 9. Oh man, I was really looking forward to watching this movie but that shaky cam is too much.

What the hell were they thinking? It doesn’t make it look cool or more realistic. It only makes you nauseous and distracts you from the movie. I couldn’t focus on anything because the picture was being jerked around. And it wasn’t just the action. It was pretty nonstop. I skipped around through the movie to see if it got better, but finally stopped when I thought I’d literally hurl. Even now, I’m trying to keep from lurching.

Please tell me this isn’t the future of action movies!

Robin’s review of Knowing

Posted in Films, Robin Balzer with tags , , , , on October 1, 2009 by Jerrod Balzer

We just finished watching Knowing with Nicolas Cage and enjoyed the hell out of it.  Here’s what Robin had to say about it:

***Spoiler Warning***

The Sun’ll come out… tomorrow

Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow…

We will fry

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I hate you, tomorrow

Cuz your gonna cook our asses.

Buffy vs Edward

Posted in Cool stuff, Films with tags , on June 21, 2009 by Jerrod Balzer

Hell yes!  THIS would have made Twilight more watchable.  I also really like THIS T-shirt.  Killer!

Vampire Cop Ricky

Posted in Films with tags , , on March 24, 2009 by Jerrod Balzer

I had the pleasure of watching Vampire Cop Ricky last night.  I had no clue what I was in for, expecting laughable-but-fun cheese, so I was pleasantly surprised.

It begins in Transylvania, at Dracula’s Castle.  The gothic atmosphere and cool FX pulled me in right away.  Dracula raises from his coffin, ready to go eat some babies no doubt, when he feels a sting on his neck.  A mosquito had the nerve to suck from the greatest sucker in history!  Drac is pissed, filling the castle with his screams but the super-charged insect doesn’t care.  It flies off and hitches a ride on an airline jet to Seoul, Korea.

This is where we meet our hero, a cop named Ricky (Guess who the mosquito bites?).  He’s a very nice guy but has some dirt on his hands that endangers his loved ones and eventually has him on the run.

Add to that his eyes turning orange and teeth getting all pointy when aroused, and things seem confusing and bleak for Ricky.  Then he befriends a Catholic priest/vampire hunter that sees enough good in him to help.  With renewed focus, he uses his new powers to go after the evil-doers that got him in the mess.

Ricky is a very unique kind of vampire.  The movie doesn’t get tied up in the usual Hollywood rules, which I found refreshing.  The powers that he does have are enough, however, and offer some fun thrills.

But the coolest – and funniest – part about his abilities are what makes him vamp out.  He’s his usual weak, timid self unless he loses control of his blood lust – which the priest forbids him to do – is pushed to extreme rage, or if he gets a hard-on.  Because there are plenty of hot ladies in Seoul, that last one gets his fangs growing the easiest.  So just before going after a roomful of baddies, he’s sure to check out some hot chicks or watch a little porn.

As one can tell, there are some hilarious bits here, but also great action (superhuman Bruce Lee fighting) and heart-wrenching drama.  For a B-movie, the acting, FX, and camera work are top notch, in my opinion.  I was glued through the entire thing, and for more reasons than the small subtitles.

I highly recommend this if you can get your hands on it.

The Haunting in Connecticut – BS

Posted in Films with tags , , , on March 7, 2009 by Jerrod Balzer

Check this out before watching the new movie, The Haunting in Connecticut.

The new Friday the 13th

Posted in Films with tags , , , on February 17, 2009 by Jerrod Balzer

I’ll be waiting for it on DVD, but I am looking forward to watching it.  The boys at Cinema Knife Fight did a hilarious review of it HERE.  I love those guys, heheh.