Archive for comedy

Calling DL Snell on The Funky Werepig

Posted in Events, Skullvines Press with tags , , , , , , , on February 9, 2010 by Jerrod Balzer

A few weekends ago, S.D. Hintz, Mark McLaughlin and I were back at my house from Visioncon, and we decided to call in to the Funky Werepig and mess with them. D.L. Snell happened to be the guest that night and he was a great sport! S.D. made the call into a YouTube video using pictures from Visioncon:

Oops…

Posted in Life with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on November 1, 2009 by Jerrod Balzer

So I’m listening to The Funky Werepig and decide to call in to ask Michael Knost about licorice panties.  Innocent enough, right?

Well, as luck would have it, I had to piss shortly after getting through, but they hadn’t clicked me in yet and I wasn’t even sure when they’d start taking callers, so I figured there was plenty of time.  I’ve got the phone to my ear, enjoying the show while relieving myself, when suddenly Michael says, “Are you peeing?”

He’d clicked me in and I didn’t know it!  Oops.

Well, then I was laughing so hard but trying not to burst out, so tears are streaming down my face instead.  Finally, I admitted it was me and joked along.  I felt a little bad because I didn’t want to ruin Michael’s interview, but then again, Michael is cool as hell, thinking it was hilarious, too (he’s even giving me a book for it!).  And Greg knows me – he was on Metal Crypt last Wednesday talking about having sex with Amish women.

As funny as it was, I wouldn’t dream of just calling shows up and pissing on them.  But as it worked out, I’m glad they got a kick out of it.

And maybe they could start a new contest each week: fifth pisser wins a book!

Later, as I’m sitting in a room by myself so as not to disturb the show while on the phone with them, the dogs run in and start wrestling, making all kinds of noise. Robin comes in and tells the dogs, “Stop it!” because she knows what’s up. While I’m rushing off to another quiet room, Greg goes, “What do you have your dick in now?”

LMAO!  Needless to say, I had a great time on the show, and I was actually trying to behave!  Then again, sometimes that’s when the craziest shit happens.

Okay, here’s where you can listen to the archive of it: DOWNLOAD IT!

And while I highly recommend listening to the entire interview, the bathroom break is 48:50 in.

Get some free Nightmare Fuel!

Posted in Cool stuff, Jerrod's writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 24, 2009 by Jerrod Balzer

Rob Callahan put together a podcast as a Halloween treat to everyone. It’s called Nightmare Fuel and offers the following stories:

Rob Callahan reads Poe’s “The Conqueror Worm”
MontiLee Stormer reads “I Do This Because I Love You”
Jerrod Balzer reads “Wolf Plugs”
Mark McLaughlin reads “My Friend the Electrical Lint Squid”
Allegra Lingo reads “Lit Up”
Rich Ristow reads “50 Percent Cabell County Whup Ass”
Rob Callahan reads “The Names Have Been Changed to Protect the Survivors”
Wonder Dave reads “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Homophobia”
Mark McLaughlin reads “The Further Adventures of Lizzy Borden”
MontiLee Stormer reads “The Suicide Bar”
S.D. Hintz reads “The Rot of Autumn”
Rich Ristow reads “The Graven Idol’s Godheart”

Check it out!

Dark Jesters available at Horror Mall!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2009 by Jerrod Balzer

Yep, they’ve got Dark Jesters, an anthology of humorous horror, ready to go over at Horror Mall. It includes my story, “Wolf Plugs,” which offers a unique way to ward off werewolves.

ORDER IT NOW!

Dark Jesters

10 authors/10 tales–1000 laughs—a couple of screams!

FOSSILIZED BRAAAINS by William A. Veselik

THE PLAGUE OF GENTLEMEN by Matthew Fryer

TONGS AND THE ROACH by David T. Wilbanks

BLESS THE BEASTLY CHILDREN by Laura Cooney

WOLF PLUGS by Jerrod Balzer

HACKS by Sam Battrick

PAPA’S GOT A BRAND NEW BAG by Robert Guffey

CURSE OF THE BLIND EEL by James Roy Daley

RETIREMENT by Rob Brooks

DEADNECK WOMAN by Mark Justice

Over at the Metal Crypt, we had Nick Cato on a few weeks back to talk about it, and had lots of fun. Check it out:

Rape from parrots must be stopped!

Posted in Cool stuff with tags , , , , on October 4, 2009 by Jerrod Balzer

Because I can’t stop laughing:

Finally! The State on DVD today!

Posted in Cool stuff with tags , , , on July 14, 2009 by Jerrod Balzer

Yes!  Before there was Reno 911, there was The State on MTV, starring much of the Reno 911 cast as well as the upcoming Michael & Michael on Comedy Central.

It was one of my favorite shows during the 90s.  It’s got some of the most memorable skits, like the Inbred Brothers, $240 worth of pudding, Doug, topless Martha Stewart show, the sideways house, and the one with the Rosemary (you’ll see).  I could go on…

I’ve heard there were some issues with the music so there will be some re-dubbing, but I don’t care.  The show is finally available!  Woohoo!

And… I’m too broke to get it .  I’m just thrilled that it’s at least out there now 🙂

Missouri Sheriff

Posted in Cool stuff with tags , , , , , on April 8, 2009 by Jerrod Balzer

The following joke tickled me:

A sheriff stops at a ranch in rural MO and says to the farmer, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown plants.”

“Okay,” the old farmer said, “but don’t go in that field over there.”

The sheriff begins to fume. “Mister, I have the authority of the Sheriff’s Department with me.” He pulls a badge from his pants pocket and proudly displays it. “See this badge? This gives me the power to go wherever I wish… on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?’

The farmer nods politely and goes about his chores. He later hears loud screams and spies the sheriff running for his life. Close behind him is the farmer’s bull. With each step, the bull is gaining ground and the officer is clearly terrified.

The old farmer immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence, and yells at the top of his lungs, “Your badge! Show him your badge, smartass!”